In a sudden burst of holiday cheer, I have decided to create lyrics for my own “Twelve Days of Alice”. It’s to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas, so feel free to sing aloud!

*On the second day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the third day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the fourth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the fifth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the sixth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the seventh day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Seven cats a-grinning,

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the eighth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Eight maids named Mary,

Seven cats a-grinning,

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the ninth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Nine lobsters dancing,

Eight maids named Mary,

Seven cats a-grinning,

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the tenth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Ten hatters singing,

Nine lobsters dancing,

Eight maids named Mary,

Seven cats a-grinning,

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the eleventh day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Eleven cooks with pepper,

Ten hatters singing,

Nine lobsters dancing,

Eight maids named Mary,

Seven cats a-grinning,

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”

*On the twelfth day of Christmas,*

Dear Alice sent to me

Twelve caterpillars puffing,

Eleven cooks with pepper,

Ten hatters singing,

Nine lobsters dancing,

Eight maids named Mary,

Seven cats a-grinning,

Six dormice dozing,

Five golden keys,

Four flamingo mallets,

Three white rabbits,

Two mock turtles,

And a Queen shouting, “Off with her head!”